I feel emboldened,
Somehow, I am free.
My obedience set me free.
I know there is little in this creation of rib and earth that is good, can do it right.
About the only thing I am capable of is obedience.
Obedience to follow the leader I have willingly chosen; and yet, I still get that
oh, So, Wrong.
And so months, years ago I begged to be useful to my chosen leader.
He gave me a task,
and I grumbled because I was certain the way He used others would be better suited to me and….
He showed me the flaws in my rib and earth body and we got together to
Get that Right.
Then I begged again to be useful and…
He assigned me another task.
This time I cried over the pain and discomfort it would cause me and He and I got together and
he revealed the healing that could come from sharing my still throbbing scars.
I begrudgingly dragged my feet into obedience and found myself bathed and cleansed…
in the Process of the Task.
Again I asked for a new task.
He saw fit to bring me full circle to a whisper in the heart of a young girl. I didn’t see it at first, that this new task was a culmination of heart visions in youthen days. So, I read and read and read some more and I learned I had idols that I daily bowed to and He and I got together and…
He wrestled the Idols from Me.
As I loosened my grip…
I watched the man I do life with’s heart fill with that same youthen vision and
we clasped hands-feeling ill prepared, slow of tongue and way too young,
but once again, at this moment,
He just Wanted Obedience.
So when the vision did not culminate
the way I thought it would, when my castle of sand was hit by a tidal wave…
I thought I had heard His whisper wrong.
My mind questioned and probed, Why did you ask this of us?
and the Answer…..
I am not integral to His plan….
except that He adores me and will use me, inspite of the evil in me,
because of His absolute love for me.
This Makes Me truly free.
I have found a blessed moment in Him
where perfect love has cast out all fear and now I will
Never Settle for the Imposter.
My heart thirsts for more of Him.
Where can I get enough?
I want to be consumed by His prescience
and daily life gets in the way.
I am interrupted- even in this moment.
I long to pour out my soul as a worship, a crown to lay at His feet.
And, even here…
I get it all Wrong.
The last note of the music fades and…
I am quickly distracted by daily life. There will be the day when the Lord has redeemed me
and in my perfection I will be able to offer more than this
rotting Rib and Earth.
My prayer for that moment is…..
I have had enough moments with Him that I may call Him beloved and
He will know me deeply, intimately and we will laugh and rejoice
over all He has done.
The rotten gifts will be beautiful, and….
thanks to the sacrifice of Him, He and I will be together, forever and…
He won’t have to work anymore with me
because it will, All Be Right.