I’m new to this. This laying it all out there. I have stacks of journals and in them I have been honest, brutally honest and in those pages I can exhale.
I have sinned with my pen on those pages.
I have worshiped and the tears are evidence of my spilling over heart as their stain traces run down the page.
I’ve written things that made me laugh out loud and I do again when I re-read.
But here. In this space, where I don’t know who reads?
where I don’t know what you think
where you can revisit and re-read
where you can know my sin here in print
where my heart is laid bare for you to roam in the quiet of your present space
The reality of this
sends me spiraling
and I am silenced by my fear
I doubt every word laid down
Is there any value to this endeavor
Is there value to my words
As I sit here currently bound and gagged by my thoughts I pray,
Lord, let the typed words on this page bring glory only to you. Refocus my vision. Help me give the words on this space to you.
It will take me a week or so. I will spend a week or so finding my way out of my bound and gagged state. The process to hurdle fear is not a new one, just the platform that caused the fear. Putting the reality of my state here for you was a big step.
So, If I can say, thanks so much.
You’ve been a big help.