It’s something I know. Cravings are everywhere. At the hair salon, when a super skinny, well dressed, well coiffed young woman walks by. Pumping gas at the 7-11 with this massive glazed donut calling to me from inside the conveience store. I’m very grateful for pay at the pump. I crave. Too often it’s chocolate, and french fries and can I just say I am addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper.
Food and I we have a love hate thing going on. I love it but I hate that I don’t understand what type of relationship we’re supposed to have. Obesity is a demon that grips my maternal lineage. I have grown up in its shadow, waiting for the day when it inflates my body. While I have worked super hard to keep it at bay I can honestly say the battle I have waged against it has caused a permanent binge and purge of my soul. I let the cravings for food overwhelm me and I consume in secret. Then the guilt assuages me. In the guilt I find my self begging God to get me under control and I swing the pendulum. I swing so far in the other direction. I become a food Nazi. I consume only carrots for weeks at a time and I become thin but my soul feels the emptiness of this kind of thin.
“We were made to crave — long for, want greatly, desire eagerly, and beg for –God. Only God.”
There are times when I fell dense. How could I miss this seemingly simple connection? I have fasted. I have spent days forgoing food to leave room to only crave Him. Those days proved blessed days of richness and connection. How did I not put that into my daily relationship with God and then with food.
“Growing closer to God has a whole lot less to do with any action we might take and a whole lot meore to do with positioning our hearts towards His.”
So, I have a goal. To use my thoughts on food to bring my heart closer to Him. When I want that Chicken and Dumplings at Cracker Barrel I will ask God to fill my souls need for comfort and then ask for help in that moment to make a wiser choice. And then maybe, next time, I’ll ask for the wiser choice assistance before I enter the Cracker Barrel.
|This sat over our table at a recent Cracker Barrel Dinner. I just couldn’t get that ‘2 full glasses in each 12oz King Size Can’ out of my head as each child sucked down a 12 oz iced tea. It helped me make my dinner choice of vegetables.|