Not Ingrained

It’s a cluttered mess; my kitchen, my office, my email inbox, the thoughts in my head. This is what happens when spring launches it’s flowery orbs and the sun shines brightly. Light shines in dark corners of the house, through window panes high up and I see the smeared, the dirt, the cobwebs hiding there.

Outside the spring rain has washed clean the pollen  from the leaves.  Our passion flowers are opening awaiting their caterpillar  friends to come and feast.

The Boy learns new basketball moves from the resident expert and Girlie #2 assists her Papa in the restoration of an old Suzuki Samurai. Gamaw and Girlie #1  travel together to ballet.

I wander. What to do when there is so much to do? I struggle to count. I learn to count when I want to throw myself screaming mad at the floor. Behind each item listed above I could give a rant, frustration or tears and it goes against the grain to choose gratitude. The human is so deeply ingrained. Today, I grasp hard at  the grateful. I bind my tongue and tell my emotions to take a back seat and I count.

Lord, today I am grateful for:

775.
Mr. Mockingbird starting his song around 11 p.m. and carrying on into the wee hours of the morning.

781.
A new zipper for an old pair of blue jeans and they are like new again.

791.
Boutique for a Week Sale
 
793.
Going to Bible Study and  leaving the kids at home.

804.
Family in town,  airport pick ups and quick trips to Tijuana  Flats because they don’t have one  at home.

807.
Her glowing face when she tells me, “Daddy watched my class and  he said I am a beautiful dancer!”

810.
Sweet  hostess gift made by little hands.

812.
Girlie #2’s ongoing one way conversation with The Beast for  over 10  minutes.

821.
That my house sits  firmly on its  foundation and you choose to move my heart off its sinful one.

4 thoughts on “Not Ingrained

  1. Sharon Gough

    Kelly, thank you once again for your posting. You are so talented, so well spoken/written that I sometimes think God just gives you these issues to write about just to help us others out. It makes me want to write a blog, but I will probably stick with posting my few thoughts on facebook. Thank you for once again touching my heart. Love you.

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  2. Kelly, I so agree with Sharon's comment. Your struggles are my struggles and I don't feel so alone in my struggle. I too am learning, (through you) to have a gratitude attitude and to thank God for every struggle. Heaven, (Mount Zion) is the greater reality, we are sojourner's here! We do have the greater hope, not the present desire of an anticipated future but a present assurance of certain future events! God is so good!

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  3. I’m here from Ann’s – just took a while to get here 🙂

    First, I just get the feeling that Ann would totally agree with this, “Today, I grasp hard at the grateful. I bind my tongue and tell my emotions to take a back seat and I count.” I even think she might have worded it like you.

    And because I know that this is something she will always remember – because the support and love of a dad for a girl is so important – my favorite from your list this week is: 807. Her glowing face when she tells me, “Daddy watched my class and he said I am a beautiful dancer!”

    Thank you for this, and God Bless and Keep you and all of yours.

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  4. This is my first visit here (and won't be my last, for sure!) Let me tell you, I know ALL about the mockingbird. Mine started last night, and here it is 8:00 am, and he's still going at it! Amazing!

    What struck most today was your blog design with all the old books! I love old books, and received a huge box of heavy old Bible reference books this week!

    Thank you for such a wonderful list! It was a blessing just to have been here!

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