Emily Weisband

 

A spunky little girl I knew years back when I was a young Momma. Leader of her pack of siblings and my kiddos too when they got the chance to join in. That’s her on the end with my kids and my little cousins mixed in. I love that I get to say I “knew her when”.

My Dad and her Dad were cut from the same cloth and it proved a little scary when we let them sit together at church functions. Sacrilege is the word that comes to mind. I still sat close by so I didn’t miss a moment of their antics. You were guaranteed a comedy show with those two.

But, back to this beautiful girl. She has a hauntingly beautiful voice and she can write some song lyrics. She is making her way in Nashville but hasn’t yet (that I’m aware of) released her first CD. If I’m wrong about this then someone please let me know ASAP!

Her song “Something to Remember Me by” is a favorite around here. I am pretty sure that I have personally added hundreds of plays to this song on SoundCloud.

Emily, gurrlll, when is that album coming out ’cause my streaming data just can’t handle my need to replay this “over and over again”?!

If you haven’t heard of Emily or experienced her delightful lilting sound then I encourage you to visit SoundCloud and join me in upping her count (then maybe we can move that on to a recording so I don’t have to use up so much data with my need to listen).

Finally, Front of the Line

I have a special super power….I’m visionary.

I can see a project done the moment I get the idea. I see the plan, I see the steps to take to get to completion and I like to push myself and everyone around me hard to execute it RIGHT NOW.

I like Right Now.

It works for me.
I am not patient, I do not like waiting, I would rather do a ton of research and use my knowledge and education to skip the line.

Newsflash to me….

Grief has rules, it is emotional and it ebbs and flows on its own timeline. It won’t let you cut in line.

I know, I tried.

I really thought if I read the books, knew the steps then I could fast forward myself through the grief line.

It didn’t work.

Here I am four years later and I’ve made it to the front of the line.
I think I may have stalled my own progress in my desire to fast forward.
I ran across this last unpublished post….It speaks of the hazy life waiting in that line.

I’m in an upside down world. My voice, the tone and inflection, lilt and resonance is forever changed. I am forever changed and I am trying to understand the girl that exists today.
She has found joy in the journey. She is grateful for every moment her earthly Daddy was here. She relates in a knew way with her Momma and her Brother. They are all learning new steps to the daily dance without a key dancer.
She laughs a lot and then crawls to a secret place to cry for her broken heart. Her God is doing something. When she writes it’s choppy and disjointed but life is full of good stuff. Both ends of the emotional spectrum own her heart at the same time.
Every day is a veiled gift. Her children and her man are digging deep. They are going to love and do it well. They are going to serve. They are going to do hard things. Her focus on these things leaves her feeling dizzy. She gets lost on the highway. She can’t write a cohesive sentence with pen and paper but she hugs a lot. She drops her world to just be with folks. Folks are precious. People are precious. This life, her life, it feels priceless.
She has asked God to reorder, well reorder her. He’s true to his word and she attributes all the confusion to what her God is up to.

God had some crazy work to do with this girl and her stubborn clay. I’m seeing the sun again and I remember how to laugh, how to be me. It’s nice to be back. Thanks for being patient with me.

Kelly

One Year

One Year.

So much can happen in one year.

Life happens in One Year.

We change in One Year.

Today is the Anniversary of our One Year.

I’ve been dreading this Anniversary.

For One Year it has loomed large on the horizon.

And, for One Whole Year I’ve been wishing for a fast forward button.

Damn, where is that fast forward button.

Why don’t emotions respond to direct commands.

I’ve lived this One Year.

I have felt it all, all for One Year.

I don’t stuff emotion well, I eat them.

I don’t connect well in the tumult of emotion, I hide.

I don’t sort emotion well, I explode.

But as I live this dreaded One Year Anniversary and I gaze back at the path to this day I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, We’ve (the little family that lost this Husband and Dad and Papa) accomplished.

We’re not as big a mess as I thought we’d be.

I’ve hid from my blog this One Year.

I felt you could only take so much of my wrestle with this One Year. Feel free to embrace the assumption based on my above comment, the real reason for silence, “She doesn’t connect well in a tumult of emotions, She Hides”.

You’d be right to make such an assumption.

I can be such a coward.

I’m back now.

Today I mourn.

The deepest, heart wrenching type of mourning. If you saw the  state of my heart you would weep too. Maybe you’ve already caught a glimpse in the words tear typed on the screen.

But Tomorrow.

Hope for a new horizon.

Tomorrow, I’m past this Anniversary and my heart senses the warmth of the sun on that new horizon.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.

It’s been quite a Year.

Kelly